Everyone in London is right. Not one decision made by the 8 million is ever wrong. You are bumped into on the street because that was their right of way. So they pushed into you.
A woman just swanned passed 8, yes 8, people in a Sainsbury's queue. She didn't give a shit. She even looked round at us, as we stared at her, open mouthed, like she had murdered a child. A similar thing happened waiting for Oyster top-up on Monday morning, a fat bastard just walked past and jammed his sweaty coins into the machine with his sausage-like mitts.
But she was right, and he was right. Everyone is right and you are wrong.
The tube magnifies this bloody-minded arrogance. It makes even the nicest person a cock of megalomaniac proportions. That's my spot, I am going to get on this train and this is where I am going to stand. So fuck you and fuck you. This is put to the test when a hauty middle-aged twat twitters: "Can you move down, please". No, fuck off Grandma. My spot, I'm right and you can kiss my arse.
The trouble is rarely are people right. In fact 99% of the time, London is wrong. Of course, I am right, but everyone else is wrong.
2 comments:
An elderly asain man felt my junk on the tube. That certainly didn't feel right.
I would be willing to put money on the fact that I will be stabbed or shot within my first week of living in London. "Well, how very dare yo-" *shank*
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