Black Hole

I know we like to blog about the doings and goings on in Laaaandon town, but I thought I would step back and ponder something bigger.

This week Germans have discovered that there is a black hole at the centre of our universe. 

It's as wide as our orbit, 4.3 million times more massive than the sun and is so strong light cannot escape it. But it's 27,000 light years away (2554342670000000 km), so it's not going to ruin your tea or anything.

The black hole bit is just the event horizon, the point where light can't escape. The actual hole is a singularity, one infinitesimal point at which everything is sucked in. Like Kerry Katona's gob.

Just imagine. A black hole. Something so big and powerful it rips space. I couldn't rip into a polythene bag containing some potatoes not 10 minutes ago, I had to use the knife.

It makes things like war and politics and tube trains a bit insignificant when you know just a few billion galaxies away there is something sucking up the very essence of existence and then maybe spewing it out in another dimension or one billion years into the future.

But then your phone rings and it's fucking O2 trying to sell you fucking insurance, again, and all the dreams of magnificence and the almighty poof out of your head while you try not to swallow your phone.

"Is that Mr Jones yeah?"

"yes. what?"

"right, Mr Jones, you know you could have insurance on your phone yeah?"

"I was busy. I was contemplating the heavens. I was pondering the majesty of our universe. I was trying to fit into my head the fact that there are more stars than there are grains of sand on this planet. I was trying to grapple with the absolute incredible, sir"

"So you want the insurance yeah?"