“I love you so much I want to put you in a little box under the stairs”

So, what better day is there to end up in Victoria Station, tears streaming down your cheeks, looking at a faded ‘If you don’t like your life you can change it’ poster?

Yes, Valentines Day! Nothing quite says ‘Jesus, I didn’t think I’d still be looking at your tired old face’, like being herded into a restaurant and staring at other, more successful examples of functioning relationships. Then again, it can be an exciting time for new love, getting to know the girl you met during that mad confidence trip you had (which oddly coincided with the burning nostril you had the following day):

“Do you want some olives?”

“No, I don’t like them”

“Really?”

“Yes”

"I did not know that. Fascinating."

Electrifying stuff. This year Valentines Day unfortunately landed on a weekend, meaning that people sort of have to be out any way. This led to a lot of blank stares and a lot of couples realising they would have had more fun at home watching blue collar saturday night TV without the cheap flowers, bad poetry and fizzy wine. Because let's face it, if you are in a couple, Valentine's is shit. 

But it also saw a larger volume of lonely, desperate ‘we’re alone and completely not bothered, let's get fucked up! Wooo! Who needs love! fuck romance! More tequila!' crowds that are completely bothered and are weeping inside. Girls dancing to the beat of their biological clock, and boys drinking their way to another evening alone with a kebab and poor quality porno. Because let's face it, if you are single, Valentine's is shit.

There does seem to be something ever so slightly tragic about it all, a day to celebrate all that we strive for and never reach. But I suppose going out and bursting into tears is better than doing it in your own flat, where you’re really near the gas oven.