Online friends

I have missed a trick. In London it seems that people do not meet in real life anymore. Now they make friends through the Internet.

I don't necessarily enjoy the old, tried-and-trust method of meeting people. You need to wash, brush your hair, lie, be polite, lie some more, not glare, resist the urge to punch the cretin in the face. It's a lot of work to put yourself across as a normal human. But you don't have to anymore.

I attended a party last night almost wholly created by meeting and inviting people through Gumtree, the well-known social website.

So all these people were strangers. With the stress on the STRANGE.

It was like having a few drinks in a really sad circus green room. Fat people, weird boogly-eyed people, people who couldn't really speak English, smelly people and people who took notes during party chit-chat.

But the best bit was a strange man that kept coming into the room with animals. First, a lazy chameleon that didn't change colour. I have never seen a real chameleon but when I did I hoped it would change colour instantly and be a hilarious situation for all. But it was sleepy, and stayed a vomit-orange. Boooring.

Then he bought in a little dog, who supposedly had beef with the chameleon. The dog ran round for a bit, made a few friends and weed on the floor a bit. Then Noah took him back to the ark to continue to stare out the sub-par lizard.

I think I might organise an online party, see if I can get a bloke with a camel in. Or at least a chameleon that lived up to the hype.