Hello,
To start with, I thought I'd fill you in on the details of my discovery. I use discovery because later on I reckon I'm going to try & compare myself to Alexander Flemming, it might work out but probably won't.
I think I've come up with my very own 'Your mother' joke, or 'yo momma' if you want to try put an American twang in it. Personally I wouldn't do that, I think I'd sound a bit ridiculous. And possibly a dash racist. The best way forward is probably to fully say, 'your mother is so rotund'. Although, you wouldn't want to overplay the whiteness angle. You'd come across as that Butler off Richie Rich, a bit of a dick wearing a do-rag (also spelled doo-rag, du-rag - wiki) talking about cappin' peeps. Or Kip off Napoleon Dynamite.
Either way, it just came out of no where. Which seems to be the case with some of the greatest moments in history. Look at Flemming (gosh, this is postmodern, I'll probably write about writing a blog soon - like Kaufman), he was a scientist sort of fella, had a bit of a rough time at work, he's got drunk at a conference and had begged this heavy set science lady for a kiss and she hadn't. It was dead awkward and a little bit embarrassing. In his red hot shame he didn't do the washing up, and history was made. A similar situation with me, all you can eat Chinese, discussing old school friends who'd gotten huge and had been seen eating out of a walkers packet full of tears, then it happened.
At first I thought I may be inducted into some sort of hall of fame or be quoted in books. Then I wondered about the origins of the concept and thought of going on a tour meeting others like me and sharing stories. It'd be across the pacific, hear tales about the first time someone said "your mother is so fat, when she lays around the house, she lays around the house".
Then I realised I had a job & wasn't Dave Gorman.
So...
Your mother is so fat...when she's using the lift, I'm on the stairs.
Y'know, because of the weight allowance, which she breaks because she weighs so much. The allowance is like, 8 people. She's as big as 8 normal people.
...shit. It's not very good.
To start with, I thought I'd fill you in on the details of my discovery. I use discovery because later on I reckon I'm going to try & compare myself to Alexander Flemming, it might work out but probably won't.
I think I've come up with my very own 'Your mother' joke, or 'yo momma' if you want to try put an American twang in it. Personally I wouldn't do that, I think I'd sound a bit ridiculous. And possibly a dash racist. The best way forward is probably to fully say, 'your mother is so rotund'. Although, you wouldn't want to overplay the whiteness angle. You'd come across as that Butler off Richie Rich, a bit of a dick wearing a do-rag (also spelled doo-rag, du-rag - wiki) talking about cappin' peeps. Or Kip off Napoleon Dynamite.
Either way, it just came out of no where. Which seems to be the case with some of the greatest moments in history. Look at Flemming (gosh, this is postmodern, I'll probably write about writing a blog soon - like Kaufman), he was a scientist sort of fella, had a bit of a rough time at work, he's got drunk at a conference and had begged this heavy set science lady for a kiss and she hadn't. It was dead awkward and a little bit embarrassing. In his red hot shame he didn't do the washing up, and history was made. A similar situation with me, all you can eat Chinese, discussing old school friends who'd gotten huge and had been seen eating out of a walkers packet full of tears, then it happened.
At first I thought I may be inducted into some sort of hall of fame or be quoted in books. Then I wondered about the origins of the concept and thought of going on a tour meeting others like me and sharing stories. It'd be across the pacific, hear tales about the first time someone said "your mother is so fat, when she lays around the house, she lays around the house".
Then I realised I had a job & wasn't Dave Gorman.
So...
Your mother is so fat...when she's using the lift, I'm on the stairs.
Y'know, because of the weight allowance, which she breaks because she weighs so much. The allowance is like, 8 people. She's as big as 8 normal people.
...shit. It's not very good.
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